i learn to be thankful and grateful for everything

dear my fellow readers, first i would like to say thank you for reading my blog. i realize that everything that i wrote last time were all about my problems, and now i want to solve it, i want to find resolution so that i won't do the same mistakes for the second time. i won't fall to the same hole for the second time. i want to get out and get something new, start something new, and do some actions to make my life much better than before! i find myself again in a new way. yes i'm not perfect and i will never be perfect. one word, perfection is only God. i want to renew everything in my life. there's never been late for someone to change his/her bad habit. last time i confessed n i complained so much about my life. i guess i was in danger. i was insane, crazy, and sick. i've read so many books about self development. i fall, i'm down, then i cry, i wake, i'm up, then i walk, and i run. i am doing it step by step. each step has its difficulty. but this is my life. another person has their own life and rights to choose the best for themselves. and so do i! i have time, yes God provides every second in my life for free. for me to enjoy it, to make it meaningful, to worship Him in everything i do. God provides family and friends to be my shoulders to cry on, to be my advisor when i need them, to make my self better and to face the world. yes God provides problems in my life. then many troubles to be solved. i pretend that troubles is my friend, they can make ourselver better, stronger, wiser, etc. there's no reason for me to not be stronger day by day. im not a kid anymore. be childlike, but not childish. first, i want to change, i determine my own happiness, not other, i determine my own future, not other. i put my biggest effort NOW. my past hmm doesn't matter. my future is only an illusion, i have no perspection about it. and maybe what if tomorrow never comes? if you want to tell someone that you love, tell it now! if you want to study to get good score, do it now! do not put off something, because if you're late, sometimes there's no second chance, so do and use your time wisely, start from now :)

i learn so many things after i experienced bad moments. they teach many things about life. life is too beautiful. i better use my time not to cry, not to regret. so far i learn that "there's no regret, there's just lesson". yeah! that's true, because experience is the best teacber ever. from our experience we can learn many things, and we can have other way to solve problems. i better study well. i love english :) i wish i could speak english well, but english is complex :( i won't quit learning! my life is only once! i won't make it useless. suddenly i remember that a professor doesn't sleep, hecause of their experiments. they find ways to make everything becomes easier. they use their limited time. i'll try to do the same thing, but i realize that it's not as easy as i say :( i would like to make my parents happy. i want to make them proud of myself. Are you proud if you got many achievements and awards in your life, but you didn't get a chance to work and to show your talent to others who might need it? see....? everything depends on you amd chance! if you still have chance, take it, or leave it. it's all yours, anyway :D

Well from now, i do not want to make the hardest requirement for my happiness. now i'm happy and i'm easily grateful of who i am. Yes God loves me more than anything, evern birds who don;t have place to stay, He keeps it and He feeds it. I am more precious than a bird. i'm sure God loves me and His mercy will always be mine. He gives me chance to live. The proofs is : He had choosed me, i'm one in a million sperms! :) see....? i'm not lucky, but i'm a winner by God. I'm a friend of God. He lives in me, and I live in Him.
if you thank God for everything in your life, trust me, your life would be much more easier. do not ask for more. God gives what you need, not what you want. so just be thankful.

with love,
Irene

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