GOD

i am tired of love life, God.. You are the one who understands me well. No one pays attention to me. Sometimes i feel like i'm a stranger. No one cares. No one helps. No one understands. No one besides me. God, but You're living in my heart. I know that You always hear my pray. Even each words that i say through my mouth are my pray. Why God creates a lonely feeling?
I don't feel lonely, but i can't stand this situation. I really want to talk about my problem, but it's not appropriate to talk by now.
Sometimes, HOPES make us DISAPPOINTED, rite? why why why? Why there's hope? what do hope stands for?
There's a time when my family, my best friends, and my boyfriend leave me alone and it's time for me and You, God. They have their own task to do. I am just too bad for them.
Why do i hate myself? How to make them proud of who i am? What do i have to do? T.T
GOD, here i am, screaming out loud inside my heart, crying without any tears, and smiling in front of others. oh, how great i am!
GOD. I am tired of this.