Imagining myself with a white gown dress, walking elegantly toward the people with my dad beside me at the church, and holding my dad's hand. Meanwhile, I'm waiting for my prince charming to come to me and my dad, and after that, my dad let me to go with him for the rest of my life. There's no reason for me to be dirty at that time. In a holy moment which only come once in my lifetime, I won't let my past (bad memories) distract my mind. Kissing is now a trend, but for me it's not the right time to do it. What I called "first kiss" is when my husband and me standing in front of the people, we're at church, hugging each other and at that time I'll whisper on him...., "Please, kiss me".
To survive is hard, to make it works, is not as easy as I write in here. But I believe in God, currently I'm walking in His beautiful plan. Now I'm 18 going on 19, my journey is still long and I hope will keep my promise stronger day by day until the day of my wedding come. Moreover, no one can take it from me. A good guy who loves me, doesn't take my privacy and value. He respects me like he does to his mom. Thus, he will also keep my promise and help me to make my commitment real, till our moment comes. A guy who loves me also keep my body away from evil temptation, so he will keep it clean, for me and for him.
Until now.................. I'm still struggling with my principle! I don't care what people say about me, whether they'll see me as people who they're talking about, hate me, or other things. This is my life, and I play my own games. This is my rules, and you better run your life.