Saturday, June 26, 2010
i don't think it's gonna happend directly in my life. I am falling in love with the wrong people. I actually want to avoid him but believe it or not, that's the hardest way to do. I have tried to get over him and stay away from him but I can't. Please God, I don't know wheter this feeling comes from You, or not, but since I love him, I can't control myself. This is hard. If I had to choose, I wouldn't love him for sure. This is unfair when we love each other deeply but the world doesn't let us to be together. I doubt you a lot, but I love you more than I doubt you. You make me sure as time goes by, and God has answered your pray. I do fall in love with you. I can't let you go. It's hard for me to believe whatever you say. It's hard for me to confess this feeling to myself and to all of my friends. Even NONE of them would let me be in a relationship with him. Even it's hard to lie to myself. At first I don't realize that I love him, and I didn't want to be honest to myself that I love him, but now everything is getting harder. I am stuck. I try to use my logic and my feeling to decide the best for me, but I know that they will never be one. I don't know whether I have to listen to my heart, to my friends, to reality, or to the logic. I don't want to have this feeling, but I have it. Now, what should I do? I'm sick of love and I don't wanna be in love anymore for this time. But I strongly believe that God has the best plan ever in my life. There will always be someone right at the right time, for me, even him, or another.